Do I have a right to feel defensive about this?

You have the right to feel any way you feel, but it's how you handle it that matters. I think you are too involved emotionally because she is your wife. It is not easy to do, but try to step back and look at it objectively. I can, because I'm an outsider and it is true that if you leave buckets with cleaning solutions and bleaches on rugs or carpets, sooner or later it will spill or leave a ring and you will be in trouble. That has nothing to do with her or you, it's simply a fact. Therefore, to protect your job, stop doing it. There is a good reason to stop doing it, so stop. Plus, if you ever spill it, you will NEVER hear the end of it and you will be even more annoyed. So stop on your own and put an end to the issue. Good luck and bless you.