How to know if I should pursue this /bi relationship?

This is long. Please Read... this is really real and I need help. Over two years ago I met a friend that I adore. She confessed that she was gay. She developed a crush on me and caught me in a whirlwind. I wanted to be with her, "I'm straight not a ... or even bi", I thought to myself. But, we pursued a relationship for almost a year and I was happy on and off but then I would wake up and realize that I could never be married, I could never have children. I couldn't tell my friends because I was too unsure if it was even what I really wanted. So, I broke up with her. But still, I am crying hysterically like I need her back because I am honestly, 100% unsure whether or not I just love her or am in love with her. I know that I would never ever be with another woman in my life time but I cannot decided whether or not I want to be with her. I do not know what to do. I cannot sleep... I cannot eat. I need someone to tell me what to do and the worst part is is that I know that no one can decide. I guess I need support. I cannot understand all of these things in my head. I cannot not be around her but I cannot be with her. I go back and forth every like 30 min. I need only serious answers here.. this is important.